My Life; Pain, Abundant Energy, Fog, and Medicine “Hangover”, Repeat

Tuesday 22 March, 2011 By 18 Comments

I have numerous faults, I am the first to admit them, and while it would make an intriguing blog post I shall not list them now. I do not like to share to much of my life, especially on-line since anyone can read it, however I am not as special as I wish, so what I have to share will be rather dull for anyone looking for anything exciting.

Thank you to everyone who wished me well yesterday. A few know I had a dreadful day and I wanted to briefly follow up and give everyone a heads up as to what the next few days will hold for me. After I came home yesterday my orders were to go straight to bed. That never works (it never has, but the neurologists are always so optimistic) first I am a mum and secondly, medicine works strangely on me. The hospital assumes it will knock me out for the night at the bare minimum, but it never does. I end up wide-awake, still in pain, but with an abundant amount of energy. This is not a good thing, but I did get some reviews written, but no rest, which my brain dreadfully needs. The next day (today) I spend in a complete fog, I can barely function; it is like trying to accomplish things through murky water. Tomorrow, if history is any indicator, I will have a medicine “hangover” which will render me quite cross. Then, if I am very lucky, I will have a brief respite of lower levels of pain before I repeat the process all over again.

This is my life. I am quite used to living this way, I have seen every specialist available and I accept my lot. I did want to inform you my faithful readers why at times my posting is less than stellar, spotty or reviews are not as plentiful. Feel free to ask any questions, as today is my non-crabby day. ;)

I really need to get a migraine icon/graphic.

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One knows the week is not going well when one is behind on Monday!

Monday 21 March, 2011 By 14 Comments

I would like to wish all my readers a very happy Monday. I am not feeling overly jovial today; actually the mere act of typing is excruciatingly painful, as is all sound, light, and sadly written words (in fairness, spoken words are painful as well). My proposed reading schedule this week was something I could have accomplished, and filled with books I was looking forward to reading and as I type this I realise it will be impossibility to read them all this week. I have heard it said that all things are possible, and to an extent I agree, however being 2 books behind and it is only Monday does not bode well. My aura (not the new-age sort) rather the “it probably is a migraine of such an intensity it will require IV treatment or another stroke”, both require a trip to the ER. Coupled with the usual mundane complaints of being nauseated, having both photophobia and phonophobia are just three more indicators that I shall slip further behind in my plans for the week. I always thought if I could put how I feel into words it would help others understand, yet I cannot describe the pain, there simply are no words. For those who have this sort know exactly what I am referring to and know there is no actual relief for me, just a lessening of pain with time, time I needed this week for other activities. For those who cannot fathom it, consider yourselves extremely fortunate, my husband falls into this category, in 42 years he has never had a headache, something I cannot fathom and if I am honest, I am quite jealous.

My point? It is Monday and I am woefully behind. If history is any indicator, it could be a good 72 hours before I can read. Fortunately I had today’sIt’s Monday What Are you Reading? queued as well as tomorrow’s Teaser Tuesday, but alas no reviews, I am learning optimism does not get me far. I am not writing for pity or sympathy, for this is my life and at the moment I do not like the pain, I accept it is they way my brain works. I am merely writing to let readers know why I may not comment straightaway or make my usual rounds on It’s Monday What Are You Reading? and Teaser Tuesday (the two meme’s I adore). I am here, but not here. I may be in hospital I may not (yes computers are allowed in-yet not in neurology for my complaint). I have a call in to my husband and time will tell. As my head allows, I will approve comments, visit blogs, and comment myself. I do not think my aphasia has slipped in yet, although I could read this post days from now only to become horrified. My goal for this week is to getting well enough to read. I have a couple of tours at the end of the week and I do not plan to miss my deadlines.

It is days like this I realise it would be excellent to have some sort of migraine graphic, then words would not be needed. Obviously, I do not have a clever graphic.

I hope everyone reading this is doing well, enjoying the fine weather (I have the air-conditioning on) and having a lovely Monday. I will be around commenting as soon as I am able.

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Ramblings From A Migraine Addled Mind

Thursday 19 November, 2009 By 6 Comments

I have been cycling at a pain level of 8-9 for over 24 hours now. I write this not to elicit sympathy, rather in hopes to explain what I anticipate to be an oddly formatted post.

  • Many people have been kind enough to compliment me on the layout of my bog. The credit for everything cute goes to my friend Amy. Some noticed my header was all jazzed up for Christmas, the thanks for that goes to my dear friend Speedy. They both do beautiful work!
  • Sheldon (my son’s Bearded Dragon) now has a tunnel, it is being installed as I type and hopefully Sheldon will fuss with it just enough to make it a happy place for brumation. As I wrote in an earlier post, brumation is related to hibernation, but in brumation the reptile does not sleep, rather the eating and metabolism slows for the winter.
  • My twin babies turned 15 yesterday and my husband’s birthday is tomorrow (Friday) which means CAKE today! Where do I get my delicious cakes? The Sneaky Cat Bakery thanks to my Skype Girls! I ordered a Buckeye Cake (all three birthday guys agreed upon this one) and then 3 Birthday Cupcakes and they are huge, the picture is deceptively small, so we shall not want for CAKE! I ordered three birthday cupcakes; Mocha Mocha, Key Lime, and German Chocolate. I will post pictures later.
  • Coffee is keeping me from wanting to crawl back into bed, not that bed helps my head much, I was up all night.
  • Tomorrow, as I mentioned is my husband’s birthday and to celebrate we are going out to dinner and then to the play my one son is involved in. I pray the pain level is lower by tomorrow.
  • I have approximately 5 hours to feel better before we are do at the neighbours for CAKE!
  • I am very thankful for coffee, ice-packs, heated rice bags, and a devoted cat to keep me company.

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Pain and the Rhetorical Ramblings of One In Intense Pain

Tuesday 15 September, 2009 By Leave a Comment

I want to shout to the heavens that I give up! I am tired of hurting! I am tired of my family needing to be hushed around me! My body is aging and the pain seems to be intensifying. I am angry. I thought I was accepting, after 2/3rds of my life filled with tests, that I have untreatable pain. Was I fooling myself? There is not a preventative, trigger management, a stop-in-it’s-tracks (not what is it called, but really that word in a search engine could yield things I do not want), nor a general pain management strategy that works for me.
This post is not for sympathy. I needed to get some frustration out. If I clench my teeth any more, I will be back at the dentist and the last visit(s) well, let us not relive those.
There is not a test that has not been performed. I have seen neurologists in five (yes, 5) states. The conclusion? Nothing can be done. The intensity and severity increase each year. The most likely scenario is the next stroke or two will be far more severe then the previous. That is reality. Do not think I have given up. I take daily medicines to help appease my veins and arteries (I do not think it works, although maybe the pain would be worse if stopped).
For those of you who have never, ever experience pain like this and do not know the pain scale, bless you. I pray you never, ever need to know. For those of you who know what I am writing about, I am so very sorry. My pain levels on a good day hover around 3-4. Today is an 8. I am tired, I hurt, and I feel as though I do nothing more the whinge about the pain. I do not think my family hears me any longer, I cannot blame them, decades have taught them to tune it out.
Maybe it is time to give in and go for the heavy hitting pain meds? My children are older now. I put off all these years since I figured my children deserved a mum who was not popping pain pills. I think they still do, even if they can drive, they still need a mum not on heavy duty pain medicines. I can make it a few more years, I owe it to my children.

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