My Life; Pain, Abundant Energy, Fog, and Medicine “Hangover”, Repeat

Tuesday 22 March, 2011 By 18 Comments

I have numerous faults, I am the first to admit them, and while it would make an intriguing blog post I shall not list them now. I do not like to share to much of my life, especially on-line since anyone can read it, however I am not as special as I wish, so what I have to share will be rather dull for anyone looking for anything exciting.

Thank you to everyone who wished me well yesterday. A few know I had a dreadful day and I wanted to briefly follow up and give everyone a heads up as to what the next few days will hold for me. After I came home yesterday my orders were to go straight to bed. That never works (it never has, but the neurologists are always so optimistic) first I am a mum and secondly, medicine works strangely on me. The hospital assumes it will knock me out for the night at the bare minimum, but it never does. I end up wide-awake, still in pain, but with an abundant amount of energy. This is not a good thing, but I did get some reviews written, but no rest, which my brain dreadfully needs. The next day (today) I spend in a complete fog, I can barely function; it is like trying to accomplish things through murky water. Tomorrow, if history is any indicator, I will have a medicine “hangover” which will render me quite cross. Then, if I am very lucky, I will have a brief respite of lower levels of pain before I repeat the process all over again.

This is my life. I am quite used to living this way, I have seen every specialist available and I accept my lot. I did want to inform you my faithful readers why at times my posting is less than stellar, spotty or reviews are not as plentiful. Feel free to ask any questions, as today is my non-crabby day. ;)

I really need to get a migraine icon/graphic.

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One knows the week is not going well when one is behind on Monday!

Monday 21 March, 2011 By 14 Comments

I would like to wish all my readers a very happy Monday. I am not feeling overly jovial today; actually the mere act of typing is excruciatingly painful, as is all sound, light, and sadly written words (in fairness, spoken words are painful as well). My proposed reading schedule this week was something I could have accomplished, and filled with books I was looking forward to reading and as I type this I realise it will be impossibility to read them all this week. I have heard it said that all things are possible, and to an extent I agree, however being 2 books behind and it is only Monday does not bode well. My aura (not the new-age sort) rather the “it probably is a migraine of such an intensity it will require IV treatment or another stroke”, both require a trip to the ER. Coupled with the usual mundane complaints of being nauseated, having both photophobia and phonophobia are just three more indicators that I shall slip further behind in my plans for the week. I always thought if I could put how I feel into words it would help others understand, yet I cannot describe the pain, there simply are no words. For those who have this sort know exactly what I am referring to and know there is no actual relief for me, just a lessening of pain with time, time I needed this week for other activities. For those who cannot fathom it, consider yourselves extremely fortunate, my husband falls into this category, in 42 years he has never had a headache, something I cannot fathom and if I am honest, I am quite jealous.

My point? It is Monday and I am woefully behind. If history is any indicator, it could be a good 72 hours before I can read. Fortunately I had today’sIt’s Monday What Are you Reading? queued as well as tomorrow’s Teaser Tuesday, but alas no reviews, I am learning optimism does not get me far. I am not writing for pity or sympathy, for this is my life and at the moment I do not like the pain, I accept it is they way my brain works. I am merely writing to let readers know why I may not comment straightaway or make my usual rounds on It’s Monday What Are You Reading? and Teaser Tuesday (the two meme’s I adore). I am here, but not here. I may be in hospital I may not (yes computers are allowed in-yet not in neurology for my complaint). I have a call in to my husband and time will tell. As my head allows, I will approve comments, visit blogs, and comment myself. I do not think my aphasia has slipped in yet, although I could read this post days from now only to become horrified. My goal for this week is to getting well enough to read. I have a couple of tours at the end of the week and I do not plan to miss my deadlines.

It is days like this I realise it would be excellent to have some sort of migraine graphic, then words would not be needed. Obviously, I do not have a clever graphic.

I hope everyone reading this is doing well, enjoying the fine weather (I have the air-conditioning on) and having a lovely Monday. I will be around commenting as soon as I am able.

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While Quite Rare…

Thursday 17 February, 2011 By 18 Comments

…I am giving into the pain and having a lie down.  I may or may not get the reviews I wanted to post up (both books were wonderful) and I am not going to let that bother me right now.   Actually nothing much bothers me right now as all I can focus on is the pain.   If I get the pain level back down to a respectable 6 (lower would be nice, but I shall settle for a 6) I will be posting two reviews tomorrow: Merciless by Mary Burton and The Devotion of Suspect X by Keigo Higashino, if the pain intensity stays as it is, there will be no reviews tomorrow until the pain comes down.

Thank you my wonderful followers for understanding. I do so dislike giving in to the pain, I feel weak when I do.  For now I have to lie down with ice packs, rice bags, and an eye mask (not a pretty picture I know).

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At Least It Is Friday

Friday 24 September, 2010 By 10 Comments

Plans were made, reviews were to be posted; Shedrow by Dean M. DeLuxe and Once Wicked Always Dead by T. Marie Benchley, unfortunately my health had other plans.  Thankfully those I review for are very understanding.  I shall be getting these two thriller/suspense novel reviews up as soon as I possible so please be on the lookout for both of them.

I apologise to my readers for not having reviews up this morning.  I wish all of you a very happy Friday and hope to be back to my routine soon!

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The Migraine That Could Fell A Horse

Saturday 18 September, 2010 By 7 Comments

This is where one should be reading my review of The Gendarme by Mark T. Mustian, alas my head is not cooperating and I dearly hope to have the review up by the end of the day. The book is brilliant, deep, and dreadfully dark, in a word perfect!

I believe this marks the 5th day of useless medicines and intense pain. I shall not bore you dear readers with details, I only meant to come on long enough to say I managed to see the final showing of my son’s play Friday night then come home and type out these few meager words and fall into bed. The play was brilliant, the theatre was the correct temperature and my head did not explode not did not implode.

Should I last the night and the morning, my review will hopefully be up come late afternoon/evening.   Thank you for your patience.   If you are new to my blog,  I do try to post at least one review a day Monday-Saturday.

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Ramblings From A Migraine Addled Mind

Thursday 25 March, 2010 By 6 Comments

My faithful readers know that I live in chronic pain. Have no fear this in not a post where I whinge about pain. For those new to my rambling posts, I have a very rare form of migraines (only 1% have this type) in addition I have lived through 2 known strokes and several TIAs. My pain usually stays at a faithful 4-5 on the pain scale of 1-10, with my current daily medications. Right now I am at about an 8 out of 10, when if/when it hits a 9 I cave and head to the doctor. Since I am hovering at a pain level of 8 and hoping against hope this additional medication will work (I do try to keep an open mind, granted it is a mind that does not function properly, hence the pain) I decide to blog.
I highly doubt anything I have to write about that is earth; nonetheless, these are the thoughts going through my brain as I wait for the medicine to hit my bloodstream.

What if I passed this genetic fluke to one or more of my sons?

Why are all the colleges my son is looking at between $40,000 and $50,000 a year? My husband is a professor and I can promise all of my readers that he does not bring home a large paycheck. College tuition does not go to the professors no matter what the brochures might say.

Is it possible to eat too many cucumbers? I have given this serious thought and fear looking up the answer. I do so like munching on cucumbers.

To counteract my binging on cucumbers, my DH has taken pity on me and is making peanut butter cookies. What? There is protein in them!

I just received a text stating it is supposed to snow in the valley. Imagine my shock as it has been in the 60s for days now. What has changed?

My husband is replacing the old fencing and then claims he will paint and seal it. Today is the 26th of March. Would any one care to wager on when the fence will be completed? I am not implying my husband is lazy, quite the contrary. He just is not a DIY kind of guy, more the absent professor type and I love him for it. DH, if you are reading this, I really would like the fence up by summer.

Have you read any of my reviews recently? I have been fortunate enough to review some fantastic books from a wide variety of genres.

Speaking of reading, I really need the pain level to lower so I can continue reading; I have some fabulous novels lined up. I am always open to suggestions, if you have read a great book or know of one, leave me a comment or email me.

Finally, why do all of my children (they are teens, but I see them as children) arrive home grouchy? Occasionally I can understand, but today they are arriving to warm peanut butter cookies, which considering they were out running in the rain or working on building a set for the musical, they should be happy.

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Ramblings From A Migraine Addled Mind

Thursday 19 November, 2009 By 6 Comments

I have been cycling at a pain level of 8-9 for over 24 hours now. I write this not to elicit sympathy, rather in hopes to explain what I anticipate to be an oddly formatted post.

  • Many people have been kind enough to compliment me on the layout of my bog. The credit for everything cute goes to my friend Amy. Some noticed my header was all jazzed up for Christmas, the thanks for that goes to my dear friend Speedy. They both do beautiful work!
  • Sheldon (my son’s Bearded Dragon) now has a tunnel, it is being installed as I type and hopefully Sheldon will fuss with it just enough to make it a happy place for brumation. As I wrote in an earlier post, brumation is related to hibernation, but in brumation the reptile does not sleep, rather the eating and metabolism slows for the winter.
  • My twin babies turned 15 yesterday and my husband’s birthday is tomorrow (Friday) which means CAKE today! Where do I get my delicious cakes? The Sneaky Cat Bakery thanks to my Skype Girls! I ordered a Buckeye Cake (all three birthday guys agreed upon this one) and then 3 Birthday Cupcakes and they are huge, the picture is deceptively small, so we shall not want for CAKE! I ordered three birthday cupcakes; Mocha Mocha, Key Lime, and German Chocolate. I will post pictures later.
  • Coffee is keeping me from wanting to crawl back into bed, not that bed helps my head much, I was up all night.
  • Tomorrow, as I mentioned is my husband’s birthday and to celebrate we are going out to dinner and then to the play my one son is involved in. I pray the pain level is lower by tomorrow.
  • I have approximately 5 hours to feel better before we are do at the neighbours for CAKE!
  • I am very thankful for coffee, ice-packs, heated rice bags, and a devoted cat to keep me company.

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Pain and the Rhetorical Ramblings of One In Intense Pain

Tuesday 15 September, 2009 By Leave a Comment

I want to shout to the heavens that I give up! I am tired of hurting! I am tired of my family needing to be hushed around me! My body is aging and the pain seems to be intensifying. I am angry. I thought I was accepting, after 2/3rds of my life filled with tests, that I have untreatable pain. Was I fooling myself? There is not a preventative, trigger management, a stop-in-it’s-tracks (not what is it called, but really that word in a search engine could yield things I do not want), nor a general pain management strategy that works for me.
This post is not for sympathy. I needed to get some frustration out. If I clench my teeth any more, I will be back at the dentist and the last visit(s) well, let us not relive those.
There is not a test that has not been performed. I have seen neurologists in five (yes, 5) states. The conclusion? Nothing can be done. The intensity and severity increase each year. The most likely scenario is the next stroke or two will be far more severe then the previous. That is reality. Do not think I have given up. I take daily medicines to help appease my veins and arteries (I do not think it works, although maybe the pain would be worse if stopped).
For those of you who have never, ever experience pain like this and do not know the pain scale, bless you. I pray you never, ever need to know. For those of you who know what I am writing about, I am so very sorry. My pain levels on a good day hover around 3-4. Today is an 8. I am tired, I hurt, and I feel as though I do nothing more the whinge about the pain. I do not think my family hears me any longer, I cannot blame them, decades have taught them to tune it out.
Maybe it is time to give in and go for the heavy hitting pain meds? My children are older now. I put off all these years since I figured my children deserved a mum who was not popping pain pills. I think they still do, even if they can drive, they still need a mum not on heavy duty pain medicines. I can make it a few more years, I owe it to my children.

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Migraine Brain Thoughts With A Hint of Caffeine

Thursday 6 August, 2009 By Leave a Comment

I am back, well only for this post, yet it feels good to be typing. I am not sure why I am even pushing it, other then I was going through blogging withdrawal? For my non-Skype Girls, I have been in dreadful pain and at hospital. I am well enough today to sit up without being too ill from my migraine and I am taking in enough caffeine to make the grey cells slightly happy.

Being down for a few days gave me time to think. Granted the thought process was even more disjointed then usual, but it is the best I can do for now.

First off, I realised I am addicted to Cheese Puffs! Truly addicted. I realise there are worse things I could be addicted to, so Cheese Puffs it is!

Most people I know, who do not hear from me in days, are not phased. I am not certain how I feel about this. On the one hand, they know me and probably assume I am down ill, a safe bet. On the other they do not ring up to check. *shrug*

My boys (young men really) are fantastic and they have managed to go above and beyond the call of duty while I was down and DH was working, even with cross country practise and for my oldest, work.

Ready for exciting news?!? For the first time, in 20 years, DH and I bought a couch and love seat. With the exception of mattress, we have never had new furniture. It feels wonderful!

I have come to a conclusion that I am fed up (snort, slight pun) with hearing about “diets”. Moderate exercise and a sensible eating plan will make one’s body healthy, this is not new! Toning up and losing a dress size is a bonus. No “size” will make a person happy. I do fully believe in being healthy, or as healthy as one can be. It is the greatest gift we can give others.

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Uncaffeinated Thoughts

Thursday 9 July, 2009 By Leave a Comment

I wanted to post my uncaffeinated thoughts (because really, who does not like to read my ramblings?) Unfortunately I was waylaid by some serious pain, worse then my usual. So today, not only are these Uncaffeinated Thoughts, they are also Migraine Hangover Thoughts.

What is a migraine hangover (someone will ask). When I have a migraine of the severity I had building the past three days, the day the pain becomes tolerable my entire body feels “hungover”. I cannot think of how else to describe it. I usually end up sleeping a great deal. I did ask a few neurologists (as I rarely like just one opinion) and discovered this was very normal with my form of migraines and the series of TIAs and the main stroke I suffered. My brain is trying to heal.

Which brings me to Cheese Puffs. I sent my oldest to buy some for me yesterday. I do not know if it is the unnatural orange colour, the flavour, or the texture, but they are perfect when I cannot get anything else to stay down (no, I have no idea why). To watch myself I will add: I was neither paid nor compensated in any way to mention Cheese Puffs (note, I did not even mention the brand, I can tell you it was not a name brand).

On the reptilian front, Sheldon is growing rather rapidly (as most babies do) and is becoming much more like a Bearded Dragon in appearance then a Salamander (to me when we first got him, he resembles a Salamander). We bought him a larger home as the other just was not suitable for the size he will become. My husband thought we were all too optimistic that Sheldon would reach maturity. Sheldon is also an extremely lazy hunter, I can see now his early pampering was a bad idea.

I have decided that I can actually hear my oldest son’s brain cells dying (in my mind it sounds like bubble wrap being popped) as he tries to sneak in TV watching. We normally watch very little telly and I have an incredibly low tolerance for the noise of it during the day, which is to say, I detest the telly being on in the daytime.

Doughnuts. What is it about doughnuts? I do not think I have ever encountered one I do not care for.

My coffee is slowly making its way to my grey matter. I will end with knitting. I had been working on my Lily Cardigan until I was unable to even coordinate my hands to the simple task of knitting. I shall add a photo, but there is not much to see.

Lily is knit from the top down and I am working the left sleeve.


Fortunately I am a lot farther along on it then when I took this photo (which truly is a bad photo). It was the best I could come up with this morning.

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