Unlike Shakespeare’s Macbeth (Act 5, scene 5), I do not believe life is a poorly drawn out play, however it does go by rapidly and I find myself much more aware of time. No longer counting ticking off the months until a baby is born or counting the milestone in the life of a toddler. Instead I now notice time appears to have sped up, a mere illusion of course, yet with half of my life lived I realise now what I did not know then, cherish every single moment with loved ones, even the unpleasant ones. All began with me waking and thinking, “to-morrow and to-morrow and to-morrow…” I quoted the entire monologue in my head, yet shall spare the non-Shakespearean lovers.
My point? My baby is hitting “early adult” milestones and will be leaving the nest all too soon with his twin brothers closely following in his footsteps. These are exciting times for my oldest, who no doubt believes time has slowed down and bittersweet for me, as I have spent the past 18 years preparing him for this next phase in his life and realise I never prepared myself.
Any mums out there whose children have left the nest, I am looking of any and all advice. Until Monday I shall be with my sons….
What exciting times. My advice is to sit back and enjoy it. It will be tough at first, but you’ll get used to it pretty quickly.
Oh I hope so! I never once thought to prepare myself.
Yes, poets have created their verse just so we’ll remember to “smell the flowers,” etc.
And time does march on more quickly these days!
I wish it would slow down a wee bit, but it appears to keep speeding up.
I can’t even imagine! First grade and half day preschool seem like big steps for me right now.
Just think of it as more time to read…
Naomi,
You are entering some of the best years with your son and daughter. Enjoy every moment.
I believe, as this is my world now, they are all beginning to go in different directions leaving the nest. I raised them, I hope, with the confidence to stand on their own, to make their way, to embrace the journey that is their life, their story, theirs to write. Yes, we prepare them, and no – there is no preparation that can quiet what beats suddenly loudly in our heart, minds even our souls.
To step back and watch them do what we’ve taught them to do, there is a mixture of great pride, love and fear. Yes, I’ll admit it – fear. Fear for me of their unknown, fear of not being there should they need, fear of really letting go– I… don’t… want…. .to! But I need to.
I also realized this: As they begin their journey, I am getting the chance to begin a new one of my own. I am and always will be Mom, however, now I get to be more…. a little more “me” in whatever that might be. I am relegated to the “supportive” background in their lives. It will take some getting used to, I will admit that too. So, I’m gonna do something about me — while they are out there learning new things, I’m going to do that too.
They are just starting to write the book of their life, I am getting to write the last half of mine, and the title of the first chapter of the last half.. .”What Do I Do Now”.
Jennifer, if there is anyone I know, that has given as much of herself in the loving and raising of her now adult children, it is you. Your focus has been all about them, willingly and lovingly so. As they step out, so do you — just in newly defined and different ways. I know you will embrace it and have a thing to show them, just as they will have something to show you.
For now, just soak it all in, love em as you do and believe in their strengths and the your own, it will see you through.
Thank you Mama Hen! We are both in for big changes and I know we have done the best to prepare our children, yet I feel so very unprepared for these next stages in life. (((Hugs)))
I think it odd that two days in a row you’re the post above me! As you can tell by my website, that I have entered my sixties. I only had one daughter, and I definitely wasn’t prepared for her to head off to college, fall in love and move to a different state, 750 miles away! Thank goodness for telephones, text messages, Facebook and email. All of which I use with my daughter and grandkids! Though I have to admit I look forward to the one week in the summer that I get to keep them. My daughter will turn 41 on Tuesday, and I still worry about her. I don’t think we ever are prepared for them to leave home for good. Of course there are the times they come home to visit and while I enjoy them, I feel a sigh of relief when they head home. lol
Can’t imagine it, yet it’s coming much too quickly for us, too – my oldest just started his junior year of high school. He’s just been away for the weekend, and it seems so strange without him here!
Enjoy your time with your sons –
Sue
Just breathe Jennifer. I know what you are going through. My eldest left the house two weeks after graduation. Always independent he lived with friends for a year then joined the Navy.
My youngest is on his third year of College. The first year was here in town so he stayed with us but last year he went to Mankato State, he was home for the summer but now is back in school, renting an apartment instead of the dorms this year so he will not be home as often.
I have learned to text pretty well as that is the way both the boys communicate best and a random “I love you” whenever I feel like it doesn’t hurt and when they texy it back… I refuse to delete it.
My saying is:
Life is not measured by the breaths we take…
but by the moments that take our breath away.
Hang in there – these are bitter sweet moments. *hugs*